Friday, Aug 15

It's been a pretty easy day.  To tell the truth, I wouldn't know I was given six chemo drugs, although I heard from a nurse that my latest lab work showed some increase in my system, so they will reduce the intensity of the next bag to protect my liver.  I've also noted that I feel really tired several days after chemo.  It's probably to soon to brag about anything.

On May 28, I weighed in at 191 pounds.  I registered 179 on Wednesday and now tip the scales at 182, probably due bags of fluids, which they turned down this afternoon.

I managed to walk an hour up and down the halls this morning.  My leg (blood clot) is feeling better every day and doesn't swell up nearly as much ad a week ago.  I haven't had any pain pills since We'd morning.

I went to bed last night at 9:00, but didn't fall asleep till around 2:00.  Annoying.  I'll try some Benadryl tonight.

Three days down; 25 to go.

Thursday, Aug 14th

I came back into the hospital yesterday morning at 8:30 a.m.  I had two procedures: 1) I had my PICC line moved from arm to chest (I receive chemo and give blood samples from this port); 2) a doc installed a filter to catch the blood clot in left leg if it decides to move toward the lungs.  My leg is beginning to swell less and feel better (no pain pills today).  I'm getting the same chemo drugs that I originally received (previously described as 'sledge hammer' chemo), but in much higher doses this time.  My oncologist said they don't normally give this protocol to patients over 50 years of age; however, I'm in very good health.  I've had chemo on and off all day and feel fine, but hear it catches up to you in five days.

I exchanged funny emails with Pat Reynolds, one of our missionary friends in Guatemala. She complimented my positive attitude and said I would do well because I was speaking life, not death, over myself.  I replied, "I will beat this disease if it kills me."  I was then rebuked for having a 'smart mouth'.

Robin Tull, my College roommate stopped by today for a visit after dropping his last daughter off at ORU in Tulsa.  We had some good laughs about practical jokes and me wearing his new jeans before he did.  Robin is a good guy and is doing a great job as our financial advisor.

Sherry brought Pei Wei Dan Dan Chicken Noodle bowl by for supper.  That sure beats hospital food. As I pointed out previously, I married up.

What's to come?  Five more days of chemo and a bone marrow transplant.  I may (probably will) get sick before I get better, but this could lead to an amazing cure, so it's all for the best.

God's a good God.

Sat, Aug 9th

Sherry picked up my brother Don and at the airport and were able to join me for the final doctor visit prior to my hospital admission on the 13th.  All my medical tests turned out good: my lung capacity was 113% of normal; heart was strong, etc.  Despite my muscle loss over the past two months, I'm apparently much stronger than typical cancer patients.  Dr Patel went over every chemo drug in detail: why it's used, risks and planned counter measures.  I've had all these drugs previously and handled them well, but now they are cranking up the doses.  The idea is not just to kill the leukemia and my white blood cells, but the body's ability to ever make any more.  I'll be totally dependent on the donor's bone marrow taking over.  The truth is that many things can go wrong during the six days of heavy chemo and the transplant; however, I will be monitored every two hours for a ton of factors.  If something goes astray, they give me a new drug to deal with fever or nasuea. The chemo sounds challenging.  It's pretty much guaranteed to make me feel ill.  So, I must go in with the attitude of maintaining an upbeat spirit and will try to greet everyone who with a smile.

The actual transplant sounds anti-climatic.  They simply give me a bag of donor cells and it drips down into my IV in about an hour.  Then, everyone watches me closes for two weeks. They are concerned about a rejection.  There are planned counter measures and alternate drugs they can administer.  Apparently, a little rejection is a good thing.  That would confirm the new stem cells are going after the leukemia.  A little rejection they can manage.  It sounds like I will become increasingly weak, a trend that may last for three months.  After my new white blood cells build my ANC (measure of immune strength) to 1,000, they let me return home.  I will make three visits per week to the cancer clinic for close monitoring.  60% of patients who get a transplant survive five years.  My Gateway home group was sonsupportive last night.  They will take turns driving me to the clinic when I'm released.

It was wonderful to see my brother, Don, over a long weekend.  He and his wife, Marilena, will take turns visiting Sherry while I'm in the hospital for four weeks.  Sherry is fiercely independent, but needs someone around in case she falls.  Speaking of falling... I fell out of her minivan several days ago.  I was grabbing bags of groceries, but my left leg did cooperate and I tripped and fell out of her handicap tailgate.  All that was lost was a jar of sauce and my man card.

How does religion help me?  First off, I don't really like religion and doubt it would provide much comfort.  Sherry and are faith-based, Christians.  This gives me a joy that comes from having a relationship with Jesus.  I haven't lost one second of sleep worrying about the lymphoma or leukemia.    I'm sure two months ago the docs thought I would not survive the year.  Sherry's been an inspiration to me.  Her MS has taken away most of her ability to move.  She's had to deal with regular challenges that would crush most people.  However, because she is more focused on what she's been given and less concerned with what has been lost.  Being happy is a choice.  The cancer really has been an amazing adventure.  I'm so blessed to have so many great friends.

For those of you who aren't Christians.... I wanted to pass along some advice.  God is not mad at you.  God loves you.  What's the most famous verse in the Bible?  Probably John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."  Most people don't know the next verse, John 3:17.  "For God did not send his Son into the world to condem the world..."  That's what ticked off the Pharasies, who definitely we're mad at everyone.  God wants a relationship with you.  So that, the next time you face cancer or some other crisis, you won't be by yourself.

Aug 5, Tuesday

Sherry and I had another road trip last night to the emergency room.  My left leg is causing a lot of pain because of the blood clot.  In addition, my temp spiked to 100.4.  We called the doc and were told to come in.  Everything looked good and I was released at 1:30 am.

Sherry is just doing a super job as a care giver.  She's made many trips to Wal Mart and has done tons at home.  I definitely married up.

My bone marrow biopsy turned out to be an expedition.  After two dry holes on the left hip bone they found what they needed on the right side.  It's funny.  The doc says, 'You will hear the buzzing now;' instead of 'drilling'.  After they numb you up, it's really no big deal.

I felt ill earlier and talked the nurse into giving me a bottle of cranberry juice.  It helped, but I now must pay for my sins.  I have to wait three hours to do the PET scan.  They gave me a room and a place to lay down, so I'm a happy camper.

I'm getting closer to transplant and everything is looking good.  The blood clot and awful leg pain doesn't complicate anything.  When they give me the IV bag on the 21st, I will hopefully be born again.  Time will tell if it works, but it's been an amazing ride.  Thanks to all my friends for all the love and support.  Sherry and I feel so blessed.

Ouch!

I may want to take this blog back tomorrow.  Being sick is just a drag.  I'm glad I submitted yesterday and let Sherry drive me to the emergency room.  We didn't have a fight because I decided years ago that she's smarter than me.  This blood clot in the left leg just hurts like the dickens.  If I lay down on the sofa I can neutralize it, but it feels even worse the next time I have to get up.  I convinced myself that heading out to Barnes & Noble and getting a book would be good for me.  However, just walking into the building elevated my pulse.  Unlike the old Border's stores, B&N has no nice chairs near the books to sit down.  I limped around for five minutes, but couldn't get my mind off my leg.  So, I left.  I used to do an hour on the hospital bike.  Today's exercise was one lap around the kitchen/family room.  Then, I lay around all day and let Sherry make repeated trips to Wal Mart and do lots of chores.  A doc called to check on me today and passed along that my blood thinner shots won't really do anything to reduce the pain for maybe two weeks.  I'm still beating the odds and my tests continue to look good.  In two weeks I get really strong chemo and then pray that the bag of bone marrow works.  Bottom line- I'll feel a lot worse before I feel better.  Trouble is, I don't feel particularly good right now.

Saturday, Aug 2nd

"Life is like a box of chocolates."  Today, Sherry and I spent more than four hours at St Paul Hospital's emergency room.  I woke with a painful, swollen left leg.  Sherry made me call the doc, which turned out to be a good call.  An ultra sound showed I had a blood clot.  So, hours later, I got a blood thinner shot and got to return home.  Not exactly what was on the schedule, but we succeeded.

Friday, August 1st

I had six appointments on the schedule today , which included 2.5 hours of meetings with the social worker, insurance person and the transplant coordinator.  I also had a PET scan of heart and a lung test, which proved annoying.  Sit in an air tight phone booth and repeatedly blow into a mouthpiece until I was blue in the face, only to hear the tech say 'just three more seconds'.  It was tiring.  I don't really know that Sherry and I learned very much new info.  I get admitted Aug 13 and start chemo bright and early on 14th.  I've had all the drugs before, but nowhere near these doses.  I think the phrase was, "You'll feel like you got hit by a truck."  There's pretty much a guarantee of some throwing up and diarrhea for a couple days.  But, the hospital is the place to be.  Yea, they take blood and vitals every two hours, but the nurses are right there with drugs to help you feel better.  It also sounds like the process will take maybe four weeks: six days of chemo to kill everything, then drop the bag of bone marrow and watch what happens.  I think it is customary for everyone to get sick and feel ill.  You just hope no rejection sets in.  It also sounds like the first 30-60 days at home are very hard.  I already feel whipped, but I guess there is a lot more room to feel weak and tired.  The goal, of course, is to win...to live another 30 years and chase Sherry around the house again (which sure hasn't happened since I started getting chemo).

The ride home was interesting.  Sherry just stayed in her wheel chair, locked in behind the driver's seat.  Traffic suddenly stopped on I-35.  I turned sharply to the shoulder and she hit the floor.  We couldn't get her back, so she road the next eight miles on the floor.  Hoisting her back to the chair really tired me out and I 'm sure sent my pulse north of 150.  It's amazing how much fitness I've lost in two months of chemo, etc.  Sherry, by the way is well and we ate a nice meal at Macaroni Grill.