Weird. Last night I took a Benadryl to help me sleep. It must have interacted with some other drug. Although it didn't put me to sleep, it totally drugged me. I could hardly lift my head off the pillow or roll over. After about 45 minutes it wore off and I went to the bathroom and then fell asleep easily. I've never had a drug have such a strong affect on me.
Today was more chemo, including one IV that lasted 22 hours and one spinal injection, which required a road trip down to x-ray.
I woke at 6:00 am feeling rested despite the 3:00 am vitals and blood drawing interuption. I also had to get up and pee maybe 10 times. I continue to receive IV bags of fluid to wash out chemo residue. This afternoon they wanted to drain me of fluids before the spinal chemo injection, so I was given a pill that made me dizzy and caused me to really pee a lot for two hours. The nurse turned on the bed alarm, so I had to sort of roll over and pee looking out at the other wing of the hospital. I hope there's some kind of reflective film on the glass; otherwise I put on quite a show. It was either look out the window or face visitors coming in the door. Oh well, this reminds me of the story about runners peeing during the Badwater 135-mile ultra. They run down a highway in the desert, so there are no bushes or trees. The difference between being discrete and flagrant when cars drive by is do you point the other way or just give a friendly little wave.
You know what I used to worry about? My son struggled quite a bit growing up. I was born with some curvature of the spine, which turned into a degenerative condition with 27 degrees of scoliosis that causes pain to walk or stand. Three years ago, I was diagnosed with Follicular non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, an in curable cancer. My wife has been seriously handicapped by MS. Then my cancer transformed into leukemia, which almost killed me. The doc repeatedly told me that I am a high risk patient with a very aggressive disease. When I began running ultras I read everything I could get my hands on. I could tell you everything about hydration, monitoring salt intake to alleviate cramps, over-training, etc. It didn't do any good. The only way I could learn anything was to screw up and look back at the book and go, 'Oh, so that's what they mean about calorie bonking.' I'd like to think I prepared myself to face bad news, but I did it all wrong. Having a sense of humor, a stiff upper lip, and a high pain threshold only lasts so long. If you've ever run a marathon you understand the concept of 'hitting the wall'. I always thought the children of Israel got a bad reading in the a Bible. You know the story. God performed a ton of miracles and they did nothing but complain and rebel. Think about it. If someone marched you into the desert, a good attitude would have gotten you maybe another 20 miles, but you would have eventually started grumbling. What I've learned through this process is that what one needs is faith, which is more of a gift than a attribute. Pastor Todd said, 'Faith always looks like this; it always produces like this.' He was talking about strength coming from God, not inside yourself. So what do I worry about now? To be honest, not much; it's not about me. I get to play a roll. It's like running another 100-miler, and anyone who trains and runs 100's knows you don't finish them all. DNFs (did not finish) happen to everyone, no matter how hard you train. Running a 100-miler is different than a 10-K, where one hopes nothing goes wrong. But in an ultra, you know you will have to deal with blisters, throwing up and getting depressed. So far the chemo is working and the leukemia is in remission. But, it's still early in the race. I'm feeling very blessed and will just keep looking for the next aid station. As they say, any ultra you can walk away from was a good one.
Matthew 6:34
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