Sunday, Oct ,26

Amazing how much my physical condition has deteriorated; although I was able to walk ten 200 yard laps around the hospital wing this morning.  Sherry brought me a Which Which sandwich by for lunch today, which I butchered with a swallowing attacked. Certain foods just cause me to choke, aspirate food into windpipe and have to rush to the bathroom to throw up.  My terrible horse voice and trouble swallowing is just another part of my nerve damage that may soon lead to a feeding tube or pneumonia.  When I started this process in May, I was very sick, but very strong; now the wheels are just coming off.

While I am in the hospital this month, I am under the care of Dr. Anderson; rather than, Dr Patel. This makes sense because he sees all the tests real time and can coordinate with the neurology department.
Trouble is I don't like him very much.  It's almost painful for him to communicate with me.  Today he recited a list of platitudes, received an email that was more interesting than our conversation and just walked out.  Oh well...

I pushed this morning about getting the MRI of my leg completed today.  I was told at 3 o'clock that it would be done tomorrow; however, one of my doctors stepped in and said that was unacceptable and started making phone calls. I received the MRI, which took two hours. This means I will get the nerve biopsy tomorrow an move the process along.  I have been told the nerve biopsy may have consequences, such as a droop foot.  I'm very pragmatic.  I may only have a year or so to live.  I already rode my bike across the country and don't need to do it again. However, we simply must know what is going on in the nerves.  I should find out within a day or two if the leukemia is back.  All the doctors think it is.

Speaking spiritually, I no longer have the ability to rely on my own strength.

2 Corinthians 12:19 'My grace is sufficient for you.  For my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I will boast all the more about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me.'  

Galatians 3:3  'Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, you are now trying to finish by means of the flesh?'

Well, God has me where he wants me, dependent only on him.

Life is good!

11:30 am- took 2 pain pills 40 minutes ago. Just took sleeping pill and shot of morphine to try to knock me out.