My day started out well. They adjusted my pain meds so I slept better. Apparrently all the doctors , the oncologist, neurologist, and radiologist met and they decided that they wanted to find a nerve to biopsy. So they sent me to the MRI to get it back and leg image. I knew it would be painful to be in the machine for two and half hours so I took two pain pills and morphine shot before I went in to the MRI. Being still and locked into the MRI machine is just a very unpleasant experience. Plus, today I got the hot, loud machine and I came out drenched in sweat. During the second session my pain got worse, my hands became paralyzed and I had trouble hitting the panic button. I would like to say it felt better to raise my arms and stretch but it really didn't. I also get dark bruises from trying to be so still. I agreed to go back into the machine for the last half hour. I just couldn't take it so I quit the session. It felt like dopping out of the hundred miler. However, I think it was the right thing to do.
Since getting back to my room, I took two Norco pain pills and three morphine injections. The pain is just beginning to ease, although it's becoming hard to think strait.
So where do we go from here? Hopefully, the doctors have enough MRI images to find a nerve to biopsy. The doctors are convinced leukemia has returned and is hiding in my nerves. They just want the evidence before they give me more chemo. However, if they don't find a nerve with leukemia, they plan to give me chemo anyways, probably tomorrow night. I expect to in the hospital for several days.
Three weeks ago everything was going great and I was on a path to a cure, now it looks like the cancer is back. It's just a sad, painful situation. God doesn't need the odds to be in his favor; however, it's closel too
Ii got to sleep now.
Doug,
ReplyDeleteDon't feel too bad... I just wrote a well thought out comment and hit the wrong button and, bing bang boom... gone in an instant!! So here we go again...
Words are so easy to say... but to walk a mile in someone else's shoes, (or in your case... 100 miles) and you see what they are really going through. I have been reading your blog, feeling the emotions... highs and lows... and have come to the earnest conclusion that you are a very amazing man. I know you have a very close walk with our Lord and Savior and that he is your strength and shield in all you are going through. Keep your eyes focused on the one above. I continue to keep you in my prayer... you and I both know that you are in the hands of God. I love ya brother!!
Randal
Doug - My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you!!
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